Thursday, February 12, 2009

I Need a Government Bailout!

Seriously, as a self-employed author with my own publishing company, I would like to apply for a government bailout. My needs are relatively small. I’m sure I will be able to squeak by on three or four million dollars – a mere pittance compared to what other companies are requesting. I will use the money to further education by visiting schools and teaching writing workshops all across the country. In addition, I will donate books to our libraries. I will work hard to create and support literacy programs right here in our country. I will create a “Books For Babies” campaign and ask for each family in America to donate just one book to help children in need.

As CEO of my own company, I will even be willing to forego the corporate jet and settle for the ability to fly on Southwest Airline whenever a school needs me. I don’t need a limousine. A new van will work just fine. And, as far as corporate retreats, I’m fine with Holiday Inns. Extravagant meals? Heck, I’m a vegetarian, so that part is easy. (My friends even joke about me being willing to stop and graze by the side of the road!)

I promise to remain transparent, or whatever the new buzzword is. I will do whatever I can to educate our youth and, in addition, I guarantee to make them smile.

If you think I deserve a bailout, please boost my ego by leaving me a comment.


Regan Black said...

You've got my vote, Bobbie! Love the business plan!


Zebee said...

Love your idea. Let me know if it works and I'll try for the same thing with my self publishing company. I know, maybe if a group of us apply together maybe we'll do better. What do you think?

Joy Delgado
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Fairy Lady said...

I really wish someone in Washington would take us "little people" more seriously. We would be more responsible with the money than they have been. And look at the good we could do.

Charlotte Phillips, Co-Author of The Eva Baum Detective Series said...

You make a great case for yourself. You'd get my vote over many of the people who shoved in line ahead of you.

A few months back, I read a blog where someone divided the bailout money by the number of taxpayers (his estimate). The result was a fairly large number. His solution was to send the money to the taxpayers and let us decide how to invest it. Since it is our money, this made perfect sense to me. I'm still waiting for my check. Did you get yours?